I’M SOBER NOW!! Why won’t my wife get off my back?!
I’M SOBER NOW!! Why won’t my wife get off my back?!
It's important to approach this situation with empathy and effective communication rather than trying to silence or dismiss your wife's concerns. Do you REALLY want her to leave you alone or do you want to have a deeper connection? Afterall, she is still here trying to make a go of it after your active addiction and all that entailed. If your wife is consistently expressing her concerns or frustrations, it may be a sign she is not feeling heard or she is concerned about a relapse. This is understandable given your history. Here are some steps you can take to improve communication and address the situation:
Listen to Her: Instead of trying to silence her, make an effort to genuinely listen to what she's saying. Try to understand her perspective and what is causing her to express her concerns repeatedly.
Open Communication: Have an open and honest conversation with your wife. Ask her to share her thoughts and feelings, and be prepared to listen without getting defensive.
Empathize: Show empathy and understanding for her feelings. Acknowledge her emotions and let her know that you care about how she feels.
Address the Root Issues: Try to identify the underlying issues that are causing her to express her concerns. Are there unresolved problems in your relationship, or is she still dealing with the aftermath of your active addiction?
Seek Professional Help: If the two of you are struggling to communicate effectively or resolve your issues on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist or marriage counselor. A professional can provide guidance and facilitate productive conversations.
Set Boundaries: If you feel that she's constantly expressing concerns about your recovery, it's essential to communicate your boundaries. Let her know that you understand her concerns, but also explain what kind of support you need as you maintain your sobriety. If you are unsure how to do this, again, you can seek help through a therapist or marriage counselor.
Show Consistency: If her concerns are related to your sobriety, it's crucial to demonstrate consistent, positive behavior over time. This can help alleviate her worries and build trust.
Apologize and Make Amends: If you've made mistakes in the past, offer sincere apologies and make amends for any hurtful actions that may have contributed to her concerns. BEHAVIOR CHANGE IS THE BEST APOLOGY OF ALL.
Work on Your Relationship: Make an effort to strengthen your relationship by spending quality time together, engaging in shared activities, and showing appreciation for one another.
Remember that a healthy, productive approach to addressing your wife's concerns involves open communication, empathy, and a willingness to work together to resolve underlying issues in your relationship. Dismissing her concerns or attempting to silence her will likely lead to further problems and can strain your relationship even more. If you want to strengthen your marriage, you need to take responsibility for your actions and learn how to communicate. If you feel overwhelmed by this, please reach out to me (Lori) for a free consultation so we can discuss how I can help you improve your communication and strengthen your relationship.